You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
