He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
