I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
