I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
You are a genius and a whore.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
