Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
