Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
