Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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