Whoa Z and x make the same sound
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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