I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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