what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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