just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
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