These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
