i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
