I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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