Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
