i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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