Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
