Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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