The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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