I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I stole a fireplace last night.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
