No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 609 share tweet
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
