i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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