they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
