Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
We're too hungover to prance.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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