I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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