I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
