my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
