Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Randomize
