can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
