Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
