So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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