Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
The beer is more important than you right now.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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