from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
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