yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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