You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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