Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
