we made out on top of his cat.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
