I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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