Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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