if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
