i always forget guys have bellybuttons
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
