Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
