i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
