dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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