just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
