You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Randomize
