Yo dont text me then not text me
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
