she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Do you remember whose house we're in?
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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