there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
