Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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