it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
