I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
i think my cat just said my name.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
